Three Kid Circus : Random Circus Acts

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Random Circus Acts

I drove to the school this morning, so I could continue on to the grocery store. I'm such a cheater. My son obviously slept well, or the toast I served this morning, with his name written in left-over icing, wired him beyond belief. This boy of mine does not respond to his name, nor does he slow one iota, no matter what. He even shakes his head and flaps his arms while he runs, and sometimes makes an accompanying sound like "laller, laller, laller, laller."

I'm SO proud.

Anyway, we managed to get my oldest into class, and despite several break and run incidents, got the boy and the baby back into carseats and headed for the store. We shopped. And shopped. We bought all manner of healthy, nutritious foods, as well as a box of 'fruit snacks' which have no fruit in them, and no appeal either, at least to my sophisticated palate. But they had Dora on the box. "Dora!" shouts my baby. "Booooots!"

"No, honey, we don't eat those. Yucko." I give it a half-hearted try.

"DORA!"

"No, no, you don't want those." I try again.

She makes a sound like an air-raid siren. For a moment, I go to war with myself. Tantrum. Not to be rewarded. Must. Not. Cave. Must. Not. Cave...

"Here, honey, you hold the box." Silence. Bliss.

Back at home, I put away the booty and started smearing the dirt around my kitchen floor, with the excellent aid of my Swiffer battery powered self-lubricating maxi-pad. Ooh, that looks so much better, I thought to myself. The dog, who was watching me from the hall, suddenly raised her ears, and then turned and sprinted, leaping through our open front window. She began leaping and barking at the fence. I stuck my head around the corner just in time to see the box from Amazon.com bounce off the dog's head and land upside down on the cement.

Excellent! "Give it a rest, Donna," I growl as I stroll out to retrieve the package. My new 512MB card for my digital camera. Now I can take zillions of photos and not worry about room or resolution. Woo!

I quickly swapped out the 32MB card from the camera. Just then, my son came bounding into the kitchen, sans pants. "Mommy! You wanna see what I did on the potty?"

"Uh, no, honey, you can just flush it."

"Mommy! There's a sinker and a floater!"

"Uh..."

"You wanna take a picture of it?"

"Uh..."

"Mommy, I'm a big boy! Hey! Wanna take a picture of my dingus? Laller Laller Laller Laller."

Oh, help. It's not even noon.