Three Kid Circus : Kindergarten Dispatch

Friday, September 10, 2004

Kindergarten Dispatch

As my daughter was waking up this morning, I presented her with her outfit for the day, a pink dress.

"Mommy, I like wearing dresses, but..."

"But what, sweetheart?"

"I think pants are better for the playground."

"Oh, you don't want to flash your panties at everyone, huh?"

"I don't care who sees my panties. Sheesh, Mommy. I just don't want to burn my butt on the slide."

Alrighty then. I produced a pair of shorts to wear under her dress.

"Mommy, I want to BUY my lunch today."

"Are you sure? Let's see, it's pizza. Do you want to buy that?"

"YES. Mommy. Sheesh."

I hand her her lunch money in an envelope. "Do you know what to do?"

"Uh, yeah. Duh."

"Honey, it's really rude to say duh when someone asks you a question."

"Even if it's a silly question?"

"Yes. I want you to speak kindly and politely."

"Let me guess, like a fine lady?" She is rolling her eyes at me.

"Fine ladies do not roll their eyes at their mothers." I admonish.

"What about this?" she asks as she curtsies nicely while crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue.

I had to leave the room to keep from laughing. I fear we need our etiquette DVDs now more than ever. Hah!