Three Kid Circus : All in our places with bright shiny faces

Monday, August 16, 2004

All in our places with bright shiny faces

Alright. Monday. Woo.

After a round of musical beds that ended with me, all three kids and the dog in a twin bed, I'm a little stiff and sore. The coffee was too strong this morning, and I'm all twitchy. What is a girl to do?

Oh, I know. It's the premiere of Lazy Town. I betcha dancing along with Magnus and the gang will cure what ails me. I, er, the kids have been having a great time on Nickjr.com putting dear Sportacus through his paces in the Get Your Move On game. Yeah, baby.

The crabs have survived the night, as well as a few swan dives off of the kitchen table. I've put them high in the pantry so they can gather their strength for round two. I am having trouble convincing my oldest that hermit crabs don't need to live in the Pretty Pony palace. She is the puppet master, and is exceedingly frustrated that the crabs are uninterested in navigating the obstacle course that she made from left over Taco Bell condiment packages and spoons.

When we first adopted the dog, she spent hours setting up 'agility courses' to put the dog through her paces. The dog is also uninterested. My oldest also announced that we should enter her in the Eukanuba Tournament of Champions. When I explained that she wasn't a pure breed, and wasn't particularly attractive or well behaved, my daughter wasn't buying it. She said, "We will train her, and she will be a champion." Ahahahaha. I love the can-do attitude, even if she's irrational.

Come to think of it, she gets that from me. I've never thought for a minute that I couldn't accomplish anything I set my mind to. I also tend to fervor when I hit on something great. This frenzied excitement is accompanied by my expert testimony to friends and family, and generally lasts a couple of weeks.

Witnesseth:

Flylady. Love her. Get 700 email a day from her. Is my house clean? No. Babysteps, right, right. It's a new day, and perhaps THIS is the day that I will set my timer and lace my shoes. Or maybe tomorrow. It gives me great confidence to know Flylady's system works, and should I choose to follow it, I will be organized and successful and svelte. Oh wait, svelte falls under the next one. (Hilarious. Spell checker suggested "Flailed" in place of "Flylady." It knows me at my core.)

Fat Fallacy. Love it. My friend Sara is the success story on the site right now. Big picture of buttery english muffin on the book cover, with the words "FAT IS NOT THE ENEMY" on the back. Cutie pie Doctor. Now THAT'S my type of diet. Seriously good information. If only I could master using a teaspoon instead of a mixing spoon when measuring out my dinner portions. Again, I just know that when I get with the program, I'll be on a one way trip to babedom. I just gotta finish up these chips before they go stale.

The Clean Team. In my next life, I'm going to marry Jeff Campbell. He's so enthusiastic about cleaning. Sigh. I bought his whole cleaning system. Even the apron. Bought everyone his books, and currently have "Clutter Control" sitting in the middle of a heap of crap on my desk. Maybe in my first 5 minute Flylady room rescue, I'll rescue it.

ENJO. I love my Enjo products. I really really love them. Look at all the happy people on their website cleaning with Enjo. It's super fun! I tried to have an Enjo party but all of my friends love their swiffers and clorox wipes and other disposable cleaning products. No matter, I will soldier on with my eco-friendly cleaning (and blithely continue to use disposable diapers, bwahahahaha). Hypocrisy reigns at the Three Kid Circus.

I should point out that we are a Human Circus. Like Cirque Du Soleil, without the good music. We don't hold no truck with abusing animals. Unless we are 'training' them to do obstacle courses and such.